Baseball Game!!

I love baseball. As my friend Kathy said, "Sometimes baseball is just what the doctor ordered." Here's what happened at the Astros game tonight:

* I ate a hot dog. Normally I go with the chili cheese dog, but this time I went with mustard, ketchup, and relish. Delicious!

* I was still hungry, so I got some nachos, too. I didn't eat the whole thing, just a third.

* I had a beer and half. One Miller Lite and one Bud Lite. They both tasted pretty bad.

* There were two 24-year-old girls sitting behind Kathy and me, complaining for 3 innings about how their boyfriends who are studying for the BAR EXAM aren't paying enough attention to them. They made me a little embarassed to be a woman. They spent the next 3 innings complaining about how they don't get enough respect at work. Then they left. THANK GOD.

* The pitcher, Moehler, whom I don't know, pitched 8 2/3 innings. It was FANTASTIC. He let two guys get on base in the 9th, and they pulled him out after his 100th pitch. We gave him a standing ovation when he left the mound.

* I saw Lance Berkman hit the ball into the pitcher's stomach. I'm not saying that's something I want to see every day, but holy moly -- I can't believe Arroyo was able to breathe!

* And then Arroyo hit Berkman. Bad pitcher. Bad.

* Which is ok, because Carlos Lee came up and hit a home run. With the bases loaded. In baseball parlance, we call that a GRAND SLAM. FREAKING AWESOME!!!

* Astros won, 6-2.

I know they're not great, but I love them anyway.

How Last Night's Astros Game Made Me Want to Stay Single

MORE FREE TICKETS TO THE ASTROS!!!  I love that my friends have awesome connections, and that they're willing to share the spoils of those connections with ME!

The Astros won last night, more due to the excellent fielding, I think, than a strong outing by Backe.  I'm hoping he's just settling in, because he had so much going for him before he went out for Tommy John surgery.  Also, the Marlins aren't that good, I don't think.

Anyway, Carrie and I were sitting next to two, young, married couples.  The wives were very pretty and teachers.  Who knows what the hell the husbands did.  The guys sat together, and while one was just a normal guy, the other one was a COMPLETE ASS.  He didn't shut up the whole game and constantly bumped Carrie throughout.  He was verbally abusive to his wife and cheered for the Astros in really wrong, negative way.  He nearly kicked the head of the 2-year-old in front of him.  And after 3 and a half hours of sitting next to this douchebag, I nearly took my profile off of Match.  

What is wrong with women that they put up with that kind of crap?  He was SO disrespectful to his wife, in front of their friends and everyone else sitting near them at the game.  And she just sat there and took it.  She wasn't happy about it, but she didn't do anything.  WTF???  

I've had my differences with my parents, but I'm so grateful to them for rearing me to have a spine.  I'm not settling for a jackass like that, and I've decided that despite my misgivings about having children, I kind of need to have them to make up for his horrific offspring.  I know that sounds arrogant and gross, but seriously -- he and his wife have kids, and they're going to turn out just like them.  We don't need more of that in the world.

Astros!

I wasn't going to go, y'all. I didn't buy tickets, I didn't look into buying tickets, and I didn't even really know when the home opener was. But as I was sitting on my couch finishing up work, I could hear more foot traffic by my window, and when I glanced out, I saw all the brick red and white t-shirts, and the 7s and the 17s and the 9s, and I was a little sad and jealous.

And then Kathy called with TWO TICKETS that miraculously fell into our laps!!! It was like God wanted me to go to the game! I jumped into the shower (I work from home -- it's not always a priority when it's just me), Kathy drove to get the tickets, and then we walked to the game.

First pitch was at 6:05, which we missed, but since I wasn't going to get to go at all, getting there in the top of the third at 7pm was TOTALLY FINE. We were in the second to last row in the top tier right behind home plate, and I'm more and more convinced that there are very few bad seats at the Juice Box. As long as you're behind home plate, you can see everything you need to see. I ate a footlong hot dog with chili and cheese (yes, I feel a little sick writing about it, thank you for asking) and spilled some diet Dr. Pepper on the lady sitting in front of me. She was very nice about it.

The game was scoreless until the 7th, when Lance Berkman hit a solo home run. Yay!! Then Carlos Lee hit another solo home run right behind him! Super fantastico! (Does anyone know where I got that? I say it to myself a lot, and I have no idea where it came from, and it kind of annoys me both that I say it and that I don't know the source.)

Then Wandy Rodriguez got pulled out the game, and the middle reliever was replaced with a pinch hitter. Miguel Tejada (I think) hit a home run in the 8th, and then the Astros put in the last pitcher of the night, Valverde, at the top of the 9th. I don't refer to him as the last pitcher just because it was the ninth inning and nobody came in to replace him, but last because THERE WAS NOBODY ELSE WARMING UP IN THE BULLPEN FOR THE ASTROS. Y'all, when I say that the Astros have 1 pitcher and 4 hitters, it's not a joke. It's the sad truth. With Wandy's performance from last night and my high hopes for Brandon Backe, I might be persuaded to amend that to 2 or 3 pitchers and 4 hitters, but seriously -- that's it.

Valverde gave up THREE runs in the top of the 9th. If you can do basic arithmetic, that means that he gave up enough runs to the CARDINALS, our SWORN ENEMIES, to TIE THE GAME. And the Astros have not historically been good about turning things around in later innings, at least not when I'm there watching completely stressed out. I thought I was going to throw up from the stress and tension.

And then in the bottom of the 9th, someone got on base (I can't remember who, and I can't find a play-by-play), and Miguel Tejada, God bless him and his steroids, hit a walk-off home run, and all was right in Catherineland. I got to watch a baseball game live, I got to eat a hot dog, my team won, and Kathy and I went for ice cream at Amy's afterward. GOOD TIMES.

I think I'm a simpler woman than some of you give me credit for.