Movies & TV Shows for Strong Women

Despite the fact that it's nearly 2009 and that we almost had a woman as a Presidential candidate, I think that there's a fair amount of crap in the media that's not good for us or our psyches, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman.  So here's a partial list of movies and tv shows that I think are a nice counter to the crap out -- these all have heroines who are smart and independent and manage to rescue themselves:

Remington Steele (this is one of my favorite tv shows of all time -- this was such a nice palate cleanser in the 80s after the jigglefest of Charlie's Angels.  Don't get me wrong -- I loved the Angels, and yes, they carried guns and managed to rescue themselves much of the time, but the major focus of Charlie's Angels was T&A.)

Enchanted (I had my doubts about this one, but I watched at my cousin's house with her and her 3-year-old daughter at my cousin's insistence.  Not only does Giselle rescue herself, but she also rescues the man she loves.  It was so much better than I was expecting!)

Ever After (I also had serious doubts about this one, but I'm starting to see Drew Barrymore as a reliable indicator that the heroine of the movie will be able to kick a**.  Besides, I'm a sucker for movies that have heroines who like to read.)

Legally Blonde (Truthfully, Elle Woods grates on my nerves.  But I like the message it sends to chicks about being true to who you are and living up to your own expectations rather than other people's.  Reese Witherspoon also seems to be a reliable indicator of a strong chick movie.)

Penelope (I've written about this before.  It's a great movie, and I think Reese Witherspoon produced it.  See?  Reliable indicator.)

Juno (Just a warning -- don't watch this one with the director's commentary on, because Jason Reitman is an a**hat.  Regardless of what you think about teen pregnancy, the heroine is smart and independent and doesn't take crap from anyone, including the jacka** Jason Bateman character.  I'm in favor of not taking crap from anyone.)

What have I missed?  

Working Mothers

I've been pretty angry and bitter for a long time now about a working mother at my office (I'll call her C), and I've started several posts about it, but I haven't been able to express what it is about me that bothers me so much. Part of it is that she gets equal reward (in some instances, more reward) than I and other colleagues do for doing much, much less work. She is widely known to be difficult to work with from both the product creation team and the commercial team. And those of us who do my job recognize a fundamental lack of evolution in the way that she approaches her job, meaning that she's doing the job the exact same way that she did 5 years ago when she first started.

But I don't think that's the main thing, because I'm a realist. Sometimes I'm more optimistic than your average realist, but I'm pretty gimlet-eyed. I completely understand that life is not fair, and it's not a meritocracy.

I just got some news from another colleague, this one senior to me, that has cast some light on what's going on in Catherineland. This woman, I'll call her MD, took a chance on me and offered me a way out from having to do my job and compensate for the shortcomings of C. MD has a four-year-old and a two-year-old, and at the beginning of this year went part-time so she could spend more time with her sons. She just broke the news to the team that she's going to be leaving the company and taking a leave of absence starting July 1.

MD said that the time that she's gotten to spend with them has been wonderful, and she wants more. In addition, all the reading that she's done tells her that this is a key developmental time for her kids, and she wants to do the best thing by them. When she went to her boss to give notice, to his credit, he suggested a leave of absence and doing an occasional project as time permits.

And here's what came to me in a flash about all of this: as a woman, you can't have it all, unless you are willing to half-ass your job or half-ass the time you spend with your kids. You really can't. The woman from the first paragraph works from her home, like I do. She has a full-time nanny, but I know for a fact that she spends a LOT of time playing with her children during the work day. Even with the most ideal arrangement you could imagine, she's still mediocre at best at her job, and I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that it's a will issue and not a skill issue.

MD had a less ideal arrangement, but still a decent one, and she reached the conclusion that she couldn't do justice to her work obligations without shortchanging her children. And so she's taking a leave of absence.

I guess the company should be commended for giving a handout to C in recognition of the tough situation she's in, but I don't see it that way. She's been promoted because people like her, not because she provides any sort of leadership or any level of expected productivity.

MD's announcement made me sad today because what it means to me is that at some point, I'm going to have to make a choice between being a good mother and being a person who has a career. I'm not good at doing things half-ass (except for exercising). And I'm a little worried I'll make the wrong choice.

Coming soon: how all of this combines with the Spitzer scandal to make me think being a spinster is my best option.