Life Lesson

I just learned a new life lesson today. When people ask you for feedback, they're not actually interested in getting better at their jobs. When people ask you for feedback, what they really want is for you to tell them how fabulous they are.

This isn't an age thing -- I can't point to the 23-year-olds at work and say it's just them. It's across the entire age spectrum. I think it's wonderful to have good self esteem boosted by parents who have told you how special and talented you are. It sets you up with the expectation that you can take on the world, and everybody should have that foundation of confidence. But I think the Wall Street Journal is right when it surmises that the complete lack of balanced feedback from parents ("my Junior is perfect and can do no wrong") has begotten a culture of narcissism and entitlement.

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked to give feedback to someone at work, been honest, and then had that person go behind my back to complain that I was mean. These are the same people whining that they're not being promoted fast enough, despite the fact that they are clearly not demonstrating the necessary skills.

So I'm not going to give feedback anymore. It's impossible to tell who truly wants it, and who just wants me to blow sunshine up their rear ends. Have you met me??? I DON'T BLOW SUNSHINE. And the people who refuse to put their big girl panties on and get on with it can stay in their entry-level jobs, forever seething that the man is keeping them down, when in reality, they're keeping themselves down.