Is there a right way to tell a colleague that he smells really bad? I'm talking about deadly breath that could knock you down and terrible BO. I think that I just have to grit my teeth and bear it, but holy moly, I've never experienced anything like it.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Scary!
I tried to post this by e-mailing it in, but it didn't work. Bummer.
Yesterday morning at the airport, I got an e-mail from Shana inviting me to dinner at her place. Shana's one of my favorite people at the office, and I almost never get homecooked meals when I'm on the road, so I immediately accepted her kind offer.
After work, we drove through pouring thunderstorms to the grocery store to pick up dinner fixings. We both commented on the habit of drivers in the DC area of avoiding hurting the raindrops. We dilly-dallied at the grocery store because it was fun (and because I'm staying at a suites hotel, I got a couple of healthier things to keep in the fridge/freezer), and then headed to her and Jeff's apartment.
Shana called Jeff as we neared the apartment to ask him to come down and help us with groceries. He was already downstairs and waiting for us, and all three of us were laughing about it. Shana and Jeff hung up their cell phones, then there was a crack, Jeff screamed, and a massive tree branch hit Shana's car.
Yes, you read that correctly. A massive tree branch hit Shana's car. How massive? The diameter of the branch was 6 inches. Miraculously, the only damage done to the car was that a little over a third of the driver's side mirror shattered and disappeared.
I don't use the word "miraculously" lightly here. Shana drives a convertible. I think it helped tremendously that it's a hardtop (the very cute Pontiac Solstice), even though Jeff read that Consumer Reports says that a hardtop won't help in a serious accident.
Jeff was freaked out because he was outside and saw the massive tree branch drop (Shana wants to call the branch "Ed," but Jeff and I prefer "Beelzebub"). Shana didn't hear the crack or Jeff's shout -- all she heard was the huge thunk on the roof of the car right above our heads. I ducked and covered, not that it would have helped if the roof had caved.
I took video of it with my Flip. You're not going to believe how big this branch was.
What was equally amazing was watching the apartment complex maintenance guys take the branch apart and haul it away. They started with clippers and took off the smaller branches. Then they broke out the chainsaw. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to grab the Flip, because it was a sight to see. They had the whole thing cleared away in 30 minutes. Except for a few wood shavings and a couple of leaves on the ground, you'd never know that there was a near catastrophe.
Shana tested the top on the convertible to make sure it worked right, and it does. The roof and hood were wet, so we couldn't tell for sure, but it really seems like there aren't even any scratches on the car. We're going to check later today in the dark, but dry, parking garage.
We talked a lot about how many things have to happen at precise moments for you to be in a place where a tree branch can fall on the car. If it hadn't been raining, the top would have been down, but if if hadn't been raining, we would have gotten to the store and home sooner, and the tree's leaves wouldn't be saturated with water. If we hadn't played so long at the store, it would have been a near miss rather than a hit. A few more seconds, and instead of Jeff being well out of the danger zone, he might have been right in it without the protection of a car.
I'll never forget the look on Jeff's face as he frantically looked for a way around the tree. I was a little shocked, but I had the presence of mind to make sure that Shana was laughing hysterically because of the shock and not crying hysterically because she was hurt, and then I opened the door (I couldn't remember how to roll down the window) and yelled out that we were ok.
The patron saint and guardian angel of silly girls was working hard last night, and for that, I'm VERY grateful.
Yesterday morning at the airport, I got an e-mail from Shana inviting me to dinner at her place. Shana's one of my favorite people at the office, and I almost never get homecooked meals when I'm on the road, so I immediately accepted her kind offer.
After work, we drove through pouring thunderstorms to the grocery store to pick up dinner fixings. We both commented on the habit of drivers in the DC area of avoiding hurting the raindrops. We dilly-dallied at the grocery store because it was fun (and because I'm staying at a suites hotel, I got a couple of healthier things to keep in the fridge/freezer), and then headed to her and Jeff's apartment.
Shana called Jeff as we neared the apartment to ask him to come down and help us with groceries. He was already downstairs and waiting for us, and all three of us were laughing about it. Shana and Jeff hung up their cell phones, then there was a crack, Jeff screamed, and a massive tree branch hit Shana's car.
Yes, you read that correctly. A massive tree branch hit Shana's car. How massive? The diameter of the branch was 6 inches. Miraculously, the only damage done to the car was that a little over a third of the driver's side mirror shattered and disappeared.
I don't use the word "miraculously" lightly here. Shana drives a convertible. I think it helped tremendously that it's a hardtop (the very cute Pontiac Solstice), even though Jeff read that Consumer Reports says that a hardtop won't help in a serious accident.
Jeff was freaked out because he was outside and saw the massive tree branch drop (Shana wants to call the branch "Ed," but Jeff and I prefer "Beelzebub"). Shana didn't hear the crack or Jeff's shout -- all she heard was the huge thunk on the roof of the car right above our heads. I ducked and covered, not that it would have helped if the roof had caved.
I took video of it with my Flip. You're not going to believe how big this branch was.
What was equally amazing was watching the apartment complex maintenance guys take the branch apart and haul it away. They started with clippers and took off the smaller branches. Then they broke out the chainsaw. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to grab the Flip, because it was a sight to see. They had the whole thing cleared away in 30 minutes. Except for a few wood shavings and a couple of leaves on the ground, you'd never know that there was a near catastrophe.
Shana tested the top on the convertible to make sure it worked right, and it does. The roof and hood were wet, so we couldn't tell for sure, but it really seems like there aren't even any scratches on the car. We're going to check later today in the dark, but dry, parking garage.
We talked a lot about how many things have to happen at precise moments for you to be in a place where a tree branch can fall on the car. If it hadn't been raining, the top would have been down, but if if hadn't been raining, we would have gotten to the store and home sooner, and the tree's leaves wouldn't be saturated with water. If we hadn't played so long at the store, it would have been a near miss rather than a hit. A few more seconds, and instead of Jeff being well out of the danger zone, he might have been right in it without the protection of a car.
I'll never forget the look on Jeff's face as he frantically looked for a way around the tree. I was a little shocked, but I had the presence of mind to make sure that Shana was laughing hysterically because of the shock and not crying hysterically because she was hurt, and then I opened the door (I couldn't remember how to roll down the window) and yelled out that we were ok.
The patron saint and guardian angel of silly girls was working hard last night, and for that, I'm VERY grateful.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Fun Weekend!
I didn't have any specific plans this weekend, aside from test driving a Mini Cooper convertible. I LOVED driving it. It's close the ground, so you really feel like you're part of the car, and because it's so small, it's really zippy. I would love to own one, but it's completely impractical. My car is small, but the Cooper convertible is TINY. The space between the backseat and the front seat is literally a couple of inches. And the trunk is only about 4 cubic feet. That's ok, but the way it's configured, there isn't any room for my smallest suitcase. The backseats can be folded down and secured, which increases the trunk space to about 21 cubic feet. The trunk is where they put the CD-changer and MP3 player, so you don't even get to use the full 4 cubic feet. I sort of feel like Mini would have been smarter to make the Cooper convertible a two-seater and done something more practical with the trunk, because all of that space is just wasted.
After the test drive, I went to visit Jennifer and Mark and Natalie. Natalie has started talking, and it's so much fun! She's so cute and so verbal, and she's stringing her words together into sentences. She's still a thrill-seeker, so you can still make her laugh by throwing her in the air or by chasing her or by lying in wait and yelling "BOO!" at her. Good times! Jennifer is very pregnant, and she and Mark are frantically trying to get some stuff done on the house before the baby comes. Selfishly, I hope she has the baby while I'm in town, but man, she's ready to stop being pregnant. And it's really hot outside, so I know she's horribly uncomfortable.
My sister came into town to pick up some more clothes, and we did a little light shopping. I took her to Academy for some new running shoes (I got some new "athletic" slides), and then we went to Best Buy and World Market. I always forget how much I love World Market until I get there. I managed to limit myself to some potato chips and Botan rice candy (YAY!!).
At Best Buy, I bought a USB hub. Why do I need a USB hub? TO PLAY ROCK BAND! After we got home from dinner, I made Judy play with me, and she did not regret it. She was doubtful at first, and then we started to play, and she's a huge Rock Band fan now, too. We even tried doing a song at Medium skill. So fun! We played until 1am. Oops.
The next morning, I meant to get up at 8:30 so we could go for a walk at Memorial Park. That happened, except that I hit snooze and then slept until 11:30. We decided to walk to Discovery Green and then around Minute Maid. So we got 45 minutes in, which is all I was really looking for. I have to start somewhere!!
I made lunch, and then Judy packed up and left. And I have been doing pretty much nothing ever since. Good weekend!
After the test drive, I went to visit Jennifer and Mark and Natalie. Natalie has started talking, and it's so much fun! She's so cute and so verbal, and she's stringing her words together into sentences. She's still a thrill-seeker, so you can still make her laugh by throwing her in the air or by chasing her or by lying in wait and yelling "BOO!" at her. Good times! Jennifer is very pregnant, and she and Mark are frantically trying to get some stuff done on the house before the baby comes. Selfishly, I hope she has the baby while I'm in town, but man, she's ready to stop being pregnant. And it's really hot outside, so I know she's horribly uncomfortable.
My sister came into town to pick up some more clothes, and we did a little light shopping. I took her to Academy for some new running shoes (I got some new "athletic" slides), and then we went to Best Buy and World Market. I always forget how much I love World Market until I get there. I managed to limit myself to some potato chips and Botan rice candy (YAY!!).
At Best Buy, I bought a USB hub. Why do I need a USB hub? TO PLAY ROCK BAND! After we got home from dinner, I made Judy play with me, and she did not regret it. She was doubtful at first, and then we started to play, and she's a huge Rock Band fan now, too. We even tried doing a song at Medium skill. So fun! We played until 1am. Oops.
The next morning, I meant to get up at 8:30 so we could go for a walk at Memorial Park. That happened, except that I hit snooze and then slept until 11:30. We decided to walk to Discovery Green and then around Minute Maid. So we got 45 minutes in, which is all I was really looking for. I have to start somewhere!!
I made lunch, and then Judy packed up and left. And I have been doing pretty much nothing ever since. Good weekend!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Diet & Exercise
So for whatever reason, I had a really bad holiday season this past winter when it comes to food. I was eating a lot more than I usually do, and I wasn't really editing what I eat, and I am paying the price. All my clothes are tight and don't look right.
I've been trying to watch what I eat. I'm not necessarily dieting, but I'm trying to pay attention to nutrition and eat more vegetables and less crap. I copied Lindy's chicken and olive dish relatively successfully, and I've been eating a lot of fish and vegetables over the past week. The nutrition and vegetables are going pretty well. I've noticed something else, though, which is that I'm ok eating like a reasonable adult during the day, but when it's late at night, I want a snack. I've tried delaying dinner, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. And because I have no will power, I end up eating something I shouldn't, like a peanut butter sandwich or a bowl of cereal.
I suppose one solution is just going to bed at a reasonable hour like a normal person, but that's hard for me, especially when there are quality movies like Starship Troopers on tv, which is what I have going in the background right this very minute. Even with TiVo, I get sucked into this crap as it's broadcast.
I don't have this problem when I'm not at home. When I'm on the road, I probably don't eat as healthfully, but I also don't want a snack right before bed. I also watch a LOT less television when I'm traveling. It's not that I'm necessarily working all the time, either. I think I end up reading more, or I'm visiting with local friends whom I don't usually get to see. Apparently, there's a lot of inertia at home.
Shana and I are going to try to keep each other honest. I told her that I think she has a harder job than I do, but she claims that without a wedding as a goal, my job will be equally hard. I might try to restart "Ye Olde Foode Confessione" with Jennifer and Vera, too.
I really wish I like working out, but I don't. I was doing well with it last year for a while. I'd go for a walk in Memorial Park on Sunday, and then I'd only have to make myself get to the hotel gym for half an hour twice during the week. I stopped because my shoes were bad and killing me. I'm kind of bitter about that, actually, because I bought them in Portland at a specialty running store, and they made me live through the trauma of VIDEOTAPING MY GAIT, and then WATCHING IT. And after all that, my shoes still hurt me! GRRRRR!
Anyhoodle, I have a new pair of shoes, so I'm going to try to start back up. My friend Carrie is going to run a marathon in Baltimore on a weekend that follows a week when I have to be in DC. Kris will run 3 miles with Carrie as encouragement, so my big, fat, training goal is to be able to run 3 miles with Carrie as well. Carrie said she's not trying to set a PR (personal record), so it's ok if I'm slow. She's trying to check another state off of her list. Yes, Carrie is crazy. She's trying to run a marathon in all 50 states. I'd be really happy if I could just run 3 miles without stopping to walk.
(You guys -- Starship Troopers is really awesome. It's so totally over the top!!! I have to hide my eyes at some of the gross parts, but it's truly spectacular.)
So the very slow working up to being able to run is starting again. I don't understand how it can already be near the end of June without even trying, but 30 minutes on the treadmill feels like an eternity. God help me, but the time seems to go faster if "Two and a Half Men" is on. I'm so ashamed, because that show is NOT GOOD. And at the same time, it makes me laugh. It's so guilty a guilty pleasure that I won't even record it. Humiliating.
That's it really. Trying to eat right and exercise more. This means that if you see me, you should snatch the ice cream cone out of my hands.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
AM I CRAZY???
I'm thinking about buying a new car: Mini Cooper Convertible or Volkswagen EOS. I AM crazy.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Random, Barely Related Hodgepodge
Sorry it's been so long!!! I worked every single day during my 3-week stint in DC. So, so, so painful, but it paid off -- my meeting in Chicago scored a 3.91 out of 4, and everyone is happy.
I'm kind of irritated that my boss's boss still needs some sort of reassurance that I'm relatively good at my job. She forwarded me an e-mail that he forwarded to her and the head of the other team that I work with that contained the 3.91 and some personal scores. She was congratulating me, but I haven't trusted her for a long time. Back in August, she told me that there was no point in trying to take control of my career, and that not being anyone's priority is just a fact of corporate life. And that's fine, except that the company I work for has done research that shows that the high performing employees are the ones who should be getting the most attention and development both in terms of performance and career. I may be difficult to work with, I may have really high standards that are tough for the people around me to accept, and I may question your competency to do your job sometimes, but you know what? I'm definitely a high performing employee. This woman is a mediocre manager who absolutely does not tolerate anyone disagreeing with her. She's the reason people like C will always have jobs. C makes her look good in comparison.
My meeting earlier this week was in Chicago, and I got to eat at one of my favorite places. It's called FoodLife, and it's in the Water Tower mall. It's basically a food court, but the food is extremely fresh and totally delicious. AND you can buy 99-cent bags of Bit O'Honey by the cashier. It seriously just doesn't get any better than that!!
Anyone who tells you that Chicago isn't hot is full of it. We had four people plus a driver crammed into a Chicago taxi, and the A/C was on, but was not reaching us in the back seat. We all roasted for an hour. I'd forgotten what it's like to be so hot that even being in air-conditioning for several hours doesn't cool you down. I had the option to come home 2 hours earlier, but only if I flew in a middle seat. I was too hot to fly in a middle seat. I normally freeze on planes, but on my flight from Chicago, I had the air blasting on me and only turned it down about an hour into the flight. And I didn't put my sweater on at all.
It's so nice to be home, but I don't understand how my apartment can get so messy so quickly. I'm just one person. Where did all of this STUFF come from??? And why do I not have any place to put it all in this enormous apartment??? More evidence that I'm not a responsible adult and probably won't be one for a while.
I tried a new drink today that was horribly disappointing: Vitamin Water Energy. I like Vitamin Water, although it's a little too sweet (and yes, I understand that the different formulations are just clever marketing), and I like caffeine (can't live without it, really), so I thought that Vitamin Water Energy would be magical. First of all, it's fizzy. Now, that's ok, because I like sparkling water, but plain old Vitamin Water isn't fizzy, so that was unexpected. And then I tasted it, and it was bad. I took two sips and dumped the rest in the sink. I don't know where they get off pretending that thing is healthy. It's like a fully-sugared soda that's had a Flintstones vitamin dissolved in it. Luckily, the can I had was free.
DirecTV is doing a special promotion this weekend where ALL of the premium movie channels are free. I went through all of them and only found 4 things to Tivo. FOUR. You'd think that some effort would be made to bring the A-game during a weekend when they're trying to hook new customers. Apparently not.
I'm going to take this whole weekend off -- luxury!! I'm going to see Sex and the City on Saturday and the Astros vs. the Yankees on Sunday. And hopefully I'm going to get my stupid apartment cleaned up. Maybe this week I'll actually cook myself some real dinner!! My friend Lindy cooks most nights, and she and her husband both work, and they have an 18-month-old son. I invited myself over to their house for dinner earlier this week (I was getting my hair cut and nails painted in her neighborhood), and she had dinner on the table in no time flat, and it was delicious and nutritious. On the one hand, I felt completely incompetent, but on the other hand, it was inspirational. I'm a little scared that I've forgotten how to cook.
That's it for now. Enough randomness. Here's the travel update through the end of August:
June 23-26: DC
July 2-5: Chicago (more on this in a later entry)
July 8-11: DC
July 21-25: DC
August 4-5: NYC
August 7-18: Australia (that's right -- Australia)
August 18-21: DC
Peace out, dudes.
I'm kind of irritated that my boss's boss still needs some sort of reassurance that I'm relatively good at my job. She forwarded me an e-mail that he forwarded to her and the head of the other team that I work with that contained the 3.91 and some personal scores. She was congratulating me, but I haven't trusted her for a long time. Back in August, she told me that there was no point in trying to take control of my career, and that not being anyone's priority is just a fact of corporate life. And that's fine, except that the company I work for has done research that shows that the high performing employees are the ones who should be getting the most attention and development both in terms of performance and career. I may be difficult to work with, I may have really high standards that are tough for the people around me to accept, and I may question your competency to do your job sometimes, but you know what? I'm definitely a high performing employee. This woman is a mediocre manager who absolutely does not tolerate anyone disagreeing with her. She's the reason people like C will always have jobs. C makes her look good in comparison.
My meeting earlier this week was in Chicago, and I got to eat at one of my favorite places. It's called FoodLife, and it's in the Water Tower mall. It's basically a food court, but the food is extremely fresh and totally delicious. AND you can buy 99-cent bags of Bit O'Honey by the cashier. It seriously just doesn't get any better than that!!
Anyone who tells you that Chicago isn't hot is full of it. We had four people plus a driver crammed into a Chicago taxi, and the A/C was on, but was not reaching us in the back seat. We all roasted for an hour. I'd forgotten what it's like to be so hot that even being in air-conditioning for several hours doesn't cool you down. I had the option to come home 2 hours earlier, but only if I flew in a middle seat. I was too hot to fly in a middle seat. I normally freeze on planes, but on my flight from Chicago, I had the air blasting on me and only turned it down about an hour into the flight. And I didn't put my sweater on at all.
It's so nice to be home, but I don't understand how my apartment can get so messy so quickly. I'm just one person. Where did all of this STUFF come from??? And why do I not have any place to put it all in this enormous apartment??? More evidence that I'm not a responsible adult and probably won't be one for a while.
I tried a new drink today that was horribly disappointing: Vitamin Water Energy. I like Vitamin Water, although it's a little too sweet (and yes, I understand that the different formulations are just clever marketing), and I like caffeine (can't live without it, really), so I thought that Vitamin Water Energy would be magical. First of all, it's fizzy. Now, that's ok, because I like sparkling water, but plain old Vitamin Water isn't fizzy, so that was unexpected. And then I tasted it, and it was bad. I took two sips and dumped the rest in the sink. I don't know where they get off pretending that thing is healthy. It's like a fully-sugared soda that's had a Flintstones vitamin dissolved in it. Luckily, the can I had was free.
DirecTV is doing a special promotion this weekend where ALL of the premium movie channels are free. I went through all of them and only found 4 things to Tivo. FOUR. You'd think that some effort would be made to bring the A-game during a weekend when they're trying to hook new customers. Apparently not.
I'm going to take this whole weekend off -- luxury!! I'm going to see Sex and the City on Saturday and the Astros vs. the Yankees on Sunday. And hopefully I'm going to get my stupid apartment cleaned up. Maybe this week I'll actually cook myself some real dinner!! My friend Lindy cooks most nights, and she and her husband both work, and they have an 18-month-old son. I invited myself over to their house for dinner earlier this week (I was getting my hair cut and nails painted in her neighborhood), and she had dinner on the table in no time flat, and it was delicious and nutritious. On the one hand, I felt completely incompetent, but on the other hand, it was inspirational. I'm a little scared that I've forgotten how to cook.
That's it for now. Enough randomness. Here's the travel update through the end of August:
June 23-26: DC
July 2-5: Chicago (more on this in a later entry)
July 8-11: DC
July 21-25: DC
August 4-5: NYC
August 7-18: Australia (that's right -- Australia)
August 18-21: DC
Peace out, dudes.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Shocked
I just found out tonight that in addition to being a lazy credit-stealer, C may also be a liar. She got heaped with credit and praise from our shared manager and another senior manager in the department for something she allegedly wrote; it turns out that she only edited the work that someone else had already done. I used to be angry and bitter, but now I'm angry, bitter, and disgusted. I know it's wrong, but I want to see her fall.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
It's Weird Being an Adult
One of the benefits of being in DC for as long as I am is that I got to join a mini-family reunion. My cousin Yoon-ji graduated from a residential high school in Warrenton, so her mom flew in from Korea, and my mom flew in from Dallas. We all had dinner at my (2nd) cousin Susan's house, where we were joined by Susan's parents (they act as Yoon-ji's guardian in the US) and Susan's cousin (my second cousin) Joong-shik.
Before I go any further, are you keeping all these familial relationships straight? Here's a little key:
Mom (my mom, lives in Dallas)
Hyun-bin Emo (Emo is "aunt" in Korean; my mom's sister, lives in Seoul. Because she's my mom's sister, I generally just call her Emo, even when there are other Emos around.)
Yoon-ji (my first cousin, Hyun-bin's daughter, graduated high school on Thursday)
Yoon-hee Emo (my mom's cousin, lives in Ashburn. If she's the only Emo around, I just call her Emo, but if there are others, or if I'm referring to her in conversation, I'll call her Yoon-hee Emo.)
Emo-bu (literally translated -- "aunt's husband," Susan's dad. I just realized that I don't know what his name is. Seriously. I call him Emo-bu. I also call Yoon-ji's dad "Emo-bu," and if there are multiple emo-bus around, I'll say "Yoon-hee Emo-bu" for Susan's dad, and "Hyun-bin Emo-bu" for Yoon-ji's dad. Wow. If you're not Korean, this is confusing, right?)
Susan (my second cousin, Yoon-hee Emo's daughter, lives in Reston, referred me to the firm)
Michael (Susan's husband)
Joong-shik (my second cousin; his mom is Yoon-hee Emo's older sister, lives here, works for the IMF)
Ok, now that we have that straight, you basically have a list of everyone who met up for dinner at Susan's house to celebrate Yoon-ji's graduation. We had a GREAT time. Emo bought some delicious food so nobody would have to cook, and we stuffed ourselves. We also got to see pictures from Susan and Michael's trip to Korea and the Phillipines (Michael is Filipino-American). Looks like a whirlwind and some serious WORK, but it also seemed like they had a great time.
After dinner, Susan, Michael, Joong-shik, Yoon-ji, and I played Rock Band. And because the "kids" were having so much fun, my mom and Emo also played -- I couldn't believe it! But they had a go, and they had a great time. My mom was excited (and also a little jealous) when she found out that I had Rock Band at home. I played bass, and it was my first time using the guitar. I didn't realize that you had to strum the lever thing in the middle, so I got our band booed off stage a couple of times until Susan figured out what the problem was. The guitar is super fun, but I had carpal tunnel pangs in my forearm the next day.
After that, we karaoked. Of course. Yoon-hee Emo, Emo-bu, Joong-shik, Yoon-ji, and Susan sang Korean songs. Michael, Susan, and I sang American songs. My mom and Emo begged off, saying they can't sing. That's not really the point of karaoke, but they got away with it.
That was all Friday night, and on Saturday I had to work (I'm working today and tomorrow, too -- that meeting script won't write itself!!). I talked to my mom on Saturday night, and she told me that I work too much and she didn't want me working on the weekends. I had to remind her that before she retired, she had busy times at the bank when she had to bring work home or stay late. She conceded that when there's work to do, you have to do it, but it took that reminder for her to come around. It's the millionth time that I've gotten the impression from my parents that they don't really think of me as having a job. I mean, they know that I have a job and that I'm supporting myself somehow, but I don't think they realize how serious and real my job is. It's hilarious, but not at all in an insulting way.
I say not insulting because I kind of understand where she's coming from. I'm 35 years old and a fully-functioning and -contributing member of society, as are Susan, Michael, and Joong-shik, but we all definitely split along generational lines on Friday night. The "kids" played Rock Band while the "adults" watched. My mom and my aunts were trying to feed me dinner and dessert. My mom tried to send Susan up to bed for a nap (Susan is 8 months pregnant).
And really, I don't feel like an adult. I thought it would change when I got a real job. It didn't. I thought it would change when I was paying all of my own bills. It didn't. Then I thought when I bought my first car I'd feel like an adult. Nope. Maybe buying a house will do it, but I don't think so -- Susan and Michael have a house and a baby on the way, and they were in the playpen with the rest of us kids. We'll see how things shift once Susan's baby is born.
Before I go any further, are you keeping all these familial relationships straight? Here's a little key:
Mom (my mom, lives in Dallas)
Hyun-bin Emo (Emo is "aunt" in Korean; my mom's sister, lives in Seoul. Because she's my mom's sister, I generally just call her Emo, even when there are other Emos around.)
Yoon-ji (my first cousin, Hyun-bin's daughter, graduated high school on Thursday)
Yoon-hee Emo (my mom's cousin, lives in Ashburn. If she's the only Emo around, I just call her Emo, but if there are others, or if I'm referring to her in conversation, I'll call her Yoon-hee Emo.)
Emo-bu (literally translated -- "aunt's husband," Susan's dad. I just realized that I don't know what his name is. Seriously. I call him Emo-bu. I also call Yoon-ji's dad "Emo-bu," and if there are multiple emo-bus around, I'll say "Yoon-hee Emo-bu" for Susan's dad, and "Hyun-bin Emo-bu" for Yoon-ji's dad. Wow. If you're not Korean, this is confusing, right?)
Susan (my second cousin, Yoon-hee Emo's daughter, lives in Reston, referred me to the firm)
Michael (Susan's husband)
Joong-shik (my second cousin; his mom is Yoon-hee Emo's older sister, lives here, works for the IMF)
Ok, now that we have that straight, you basically have a list of everyone who met up for dinner at Susan's house to celebrate Yoon-ji's graduation. We had a GREAT time. Emo bought some delicious food so nobody would have to cook, and we stuffed ourselves. We also got to see pictures from Susan and Michael's trip to Korea and the Phillipines (Michael is Filipino-American). Looks like a whirlwind and some serious WORK, but it also seemed like they had a great time.
After dinner, Susan, Michael, Joong-shik, Yoon-ji, and I played Rock Band. And because the "kids" were having so much fun, my mom and Emo also played -- I couldn't believe it! But they had a go, and they had a great time. My mom was excited (and also a little jealous) when she found out that I had Rock Band at home. I played bass, and it was my first time using the guitar. I didn't realize that you had to strum the lever thing in the middle, so I got our band booed off stage a couple of times until Susan figured out what the problem was. The guitar is super fun, but I had carpal tunnel pangs in my forearm the next day.
After that, we karaoked. Of course. Yoon-hee Emo, Emo-bu, Joong-shik, Yoon-ji, and Susan sang Korean songs. Michael, Susan, and I sang American songs. My mom and Emo begged off, saying they can't sing. That's not really the point of karaoke, but they got away with it.
That was all Friday night, and on Saturday I had to work (I'm working today and tomorrow, too -- that meeting script won't write itself!!). I talked to my mom on Saturday night, and she told me that I work too much and she didn't want me working on the weekends. I had to remind her that before she retired, she had busy times at the bank when she had to bring work home or stay late. She conceded that when there's work to do, you have to do it, but it took that reminder for her to come around. It's the millionth time that I've gotten the impression from my parents that they don't really think of me as having a job. I mean, they know that I have a job and that I'm supporting myself somehow, but I don't think they realize how serious and real my job is. It's hilarious, but not at all in an insulting way.
I say not insulting because I kind of understand where she's coming from. I'm 35 years old and a fully-functioning and -contributing member of society, as are Susan, Michael, and Joong-shik, but we all definitely split along generational lines on Friday night. The "kids" played Rock Band while the "adults" watched. My mom and my aunts were trying to feed me dinner and dessert. My mom tried to send Susan up to bed for a nap (Susan is 8 months pregnant).
And really, I don't feel like an adult. I thought it would change when I got a real job. It didn't. I thought it would change when I was paying all of my own bills. It didn't. Then I thought when I bought my first car I'd feel like an adult. Nope. Maybe buying a house will do it, but I don't think so -- Susan and Michael have a house and a baby on the way, and they were in the playpen with the rest of us kids. We'll see how things shift once Susan's baby is born.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Travel Update
Wow -- sorry about that. I forgot that I hadn't posted where I'm supposed to be in a while.
May 18-June 6: DC (yes, including weekends. I'm trying to be zen about it.)
June 11-June 12: Chicago
I have to be back in DC for part of June, but I'm not sure yet when.
The company gave me a "new" laptop. "New" is in quotation marks, because the laptop belonged to someone else at the company who recently resigned and turned in his laptop. The reason they did that instead of sending me a new (no quotation marks) laptop is because they don't have any. One of my colleagues has been using a loaner laptop for 2 months. Please explain to me how difficult it is to call Dell's 800 number and order 100 laptops. What is the firm doing with all the cash they're sitting on???
The "new" laptop works great, except for the part where I don't have administrator access, so I can't install new hardware or software. And before you start casting aspersions on my character and make any allegations about the types of things the company suspects of me of wanting to download, this means that I can't add my printer. For some reason, clicking certain links doesn't do anything, either, and again, before you get all suspicious, I had to do some research for work on Fidelity.com, and I couldn't get most of the links to work. REALLY ANNOYING. But at least I have a work computer again, which I guess is the main thing, and the IT guy said he'd give me administrator access this week.
My car is finally working and back in my possession again, just in time for me to go out of town for 3 weeks. AND the dealership had to cover it under warranty because it's totally a drive train issue. It was comical how unhappy they were about it. What's also fabulous is that, in the process of looking for screen protectors for my new phone (yes, I got a new phone -- I couldn't handle that little flip phone any longer), I FOUND THE PAPERWORK FOR MY EXTENDED WARRANTY. According to that paperwork, none of the work I've had done this year should have been paid for out of my bank account. Not sure how or where to start the fight to get my money back, but I'm definitely going to try.
I'm in corporate housing while in DC, and it doesn't suck. It would be a lot better if the carpet weren't so old, but it's clean and has the essentials, including, regrettably, noisy neighbors. I'm not sure about the kitchen, not because it isn't clean, but because it's weird cooking in a foreign kitchen. It probably doesn't matter because I don't think that I'll have a lot of time for actual cooking. I also don't know if it's worth it when I'm going to have to buy dishwashing detergent. I really hope I remember to buy toilet paper.
I also need to go buy some dress pants and a couple of sweater sets. I stupidly did not pack enough "smart business casual" clothing. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't believe I'm this unexcited at the prospect of shopping.
May 18-June 6: DC (yes, including weekends. I'm trying to be zen about it.)
June 11-June 12: Chicago
I have to be back in DC for part of June, but I'm not sure yet when.
The company gave me a "new" laptop. "New" is in quotation marks, because the laptop belonged to someone else at the company who recently resigned and turned in his laptop. The reason they did that instead of sending me a new (no quotation marks) laptop is because they don't have any. One of my colleagues has been using a loaner laptop for 2 months. Please explain to me how difficult it is to call Dell's 800 number and order 100 laptops. What is the firm doing with all the cash they're sitting on???
The "new" laptop works great, except for the part where I don't have administrator access, so I can't install new hardware or software. And before you start casting aspersions on my character and make any allegations about the types of things the company suspects of me of wanting to download, this means that I can't add my printer. For some reason, clicking certain links doesn't do anything, either, and again, before you get all suspicious, I had to do some research for work on Fidelity.com, and I couldn't get most of the links to work. REALLY ANNOYING. But at least I have a work computer again, which I guess is the main thing, and the IT guy said he'd give me administrator access this week.
My car is finally working and back in my possession again, just in time for me to go out of town for 3 weeks. AND the dealership had to cover it under warranty because it's totally a drive train issue. It was comical how unhappy they were about it. What's also fabulous is that, in the process of looking for screen protectors for my new phone (yes, I got a new phone -- I couldn't handle that little flip phone any longer), I FOUND THE PAPERWORK FOR MY EXTENDED WARRANTY. According to that paperwork, none of the work I've had done this year should have been paid for out of my bank account. Not sure how or where to start the fight to get my money back, but I'm definitely going to try.
I'm in corporate housing while in DC, and it doesn't suck. It would be a lot better if the carpet weren't so old, but it's clean and has the essentials, including, regrettably, noisy neighbors. I'm not sure about the kitchen, not because it isn't clean, but because it's weird cooking in a foreign kitchen. It probably doesn't matter because I don't think that I'll have a lot of time for actual cooking. I also don't know if it's worth it when I'm going to have to buy dishwashing detergent. I really hope I remember to buy toilet paper.
I also need to go buy some dress pants and a couple of sweater sets. I stupidly did not pack enough "smart business casual" clothing. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't believe I'm this unexcited at the prospect of shopping.
Monday, May 12, 2008
DEPENDENCE SUCKS
In the space of a couple of weeks, the transmission in my car has started doing weird things, my BlackBerry can't hold a signal, and my laptop has refused to start up (I had to FedEx it to my office today in the hopes that they can fix it tomorrow and FedEx it back for Wednesday morning delivery).
Without my Mac and my bicycle (and the car I rented), I'd be trapped in my apartment with no contact with the outside world. It's like the Apocalypse!!
Friday, May 2, 2008
I am a total nerd
Here's one for the category of "everything happens for a reason." Yesterday, I left the office at 6pm for my 7:30pm flight out of DCA. The new office in Rosslyn is only about 15 minutes away from the airport, so that's a little on the early side, but I'd left my jacket at the salad place earlier in the day when I went for a little snack, and I had to grab that. I caught a taxi at 6:10, thinking I'd have time to get a sandwich or something to supplement whatever snack they served on the plane.
I didn't notice that the cab was a DC cab, and I don't know if that even played a part in it, but when the road forked, instead of taking the GW Parkway, the cab driver decided to take the Roosevelt Bridge into DC. (DC cabs aren't allowed to pick up AND drop off fares in Virginia, so this might have been a way for him to bend the rules instead of breaking them.) What my taxi driver forgot was that because of rush hour, all of the roads and exits that he wanted to take were closed.
We ended up driving past the Kennedy Center, being forced onto Rock Creek Parkway, and exiting Massachusetts Avenue and driving through Dupont. We drove past the old building at 2000 Penn, and then took 17th Street all the way down to whatever street goes past the Jefferson Memorial and then took 395 to the GW Parkway exit to go to the airport. Yes, the same GW Parkway he had rejected 25 minutes earlier.
He finally got me to the airport at 6:40, and because he was so frustrated and tense during the drive, I didn't say anything to him about my frustration and tension. He apologized when we got there and only charged me what it would have cost to take the direct route.
That's good fun in and of itself, but for me, it got better. I got my boarding pass and went to the security line, where I used my FlyClear card for the first time. FlyClear allows me to go to a special line where I can go faster than the regular line or even the frequent flyer line. What I didn't realize is that once I get my fingerprint scanned, one of the FlyClear employees will cut me into the regular line, give my boarding pass and license to get checked by TSA, and while that's happening, get my bins set up for me so I can cut into the x-ray line as well. It's AWESOME!
This is the best part, though. Because I was running a little late, I jumped on the moving sidewalk to the Continental gates, and I noticed that a gentleman who looked a lot like Larry Kellner, the Chairman and CEO of Continental Airlines, was on the moving sidewalk going the opposite direction. His head was down, and he looked kind of tired, so I couldn't tell for sure. I noted he was wearing a Continental employee badge around his neck, and as I got closer, I saw that the first name said "Larry." So as the sidewalk moved me away, over my shoulder I yelled out, "Thank you for not merging with United!" His head popped up, it was DEFINITELY Larry Kellner, and he started laughing and yelled back, "Thank you for your business."
It totally made my evening. And that's reason number 4,578,932 that I am a nerd.
I didn't notice that the cab was a DC cab, and I don't know if that even played a part in it, but when the road forked, instead of taking the GW Parkway, the cab driver decided to take the Roosevelt Bridge into DC. (DC cabs aren't allowed to pick up AND drop off fares in Virginia, so this might have been a way for him to bend the rules instead of breaking them.) What my taxi driver forgot was that because of rush hour, all of the roads and exits that he wanted to take were closed.
We ended up driving past the Kennedy Center, being forced onto Rock Creek Parkway, and exiting Massachusetts Avenue and driving through Dupont. We drove past the old building at 2000 Penn, and then took 17th Street all the way down to whatever street goes past the Jefferson Memorial and then took 395 to the GW Parkway exit to go to the airport. Yes, the same GW Parkway he had rejected 25 minutes earlier.
He finally got me to the airport at 6:40, and because he was so frustrated and tense during the drive, I didn't say anything to him about my frustration and tension. He apologized when we got there and only charged me what it would have cost to take the direct route.
That's good fun in and of itself, but for me, it got better. I got my boarding pass and went to the security line, where I used my FlyClear card for the first time. FlyClear allows me to go to a special line where I can go faster than the regular line or even the frequent flyer line. What I didn't realize is that once I get my fingerprint scanned, one of the FlyClear employees will cut me into the regular line, give my boarding pass and license to get checked by TSA, and while that's happening, get my bins set up for me so I can cut into the x-ray line as well. It's AWESOME!
This is the best part, though. Because I was running a little late, I jumped on the moving sidewalk to the Continental gates, and I noticed that a gentleman who looked a lot like Larry Kellner, the Chairman and CEO of Continental Airlines, was on the moving sidewalk going the opposite direction. His head was down, and he looked kind of tired, so I couldn't tell for sure. I noted he was wearing a Continental employee badge around his neck, and as I got closer, I saw that the first name said "Larry." So as the sidewalk moved me away, over my shoulder I yelled out, "Thank you for not merging with United!" His head popped up, it was DEFINITELY Larry Kellner, and he started laughing and yelled back, "Thank you for your business."
It totally made my evening. And that's reason number 4,578,932 that I am a nerd.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Continental Presidents Club v. Delta Crown Room
Presidents Club: three different kinds of cheese (cheddar, Monterey jack, and Rondele), assorted Pepperidge Farms crackers, breadsticks, and potato chips.
Crown Room: one kind of cheese (white cheddar), crackers with a bunch of seeds on them, hummus, Nutella (allergic to hazelnuts), and olives.
Advantage: Crown Room (come on -- olives and hummus!)
Presidents Club: complimentary coffee, tea, cocoa, soft drinks, and assorted alcoholic beverages.
Crown Room: complimentary coffee, tea, cocoa, powdered vanilla latte mix, soft drinks, and assorted alcoholic beverages.
Advantage: Crown Room
Presidents Club: free wi-fi
Crown Room: T-Mobile broadband internet service, $9.95/day
Advantage: Presidents Club
Presidents Club: cushy chairs
Crown Room: cushy chairs
Advantage: tie
Presidents Club: flat-screen tvs
Crown Room: flat-screen tvs
Advantage: tie
Presidents Club: 8-10 cubes with phone and internet connection
Crown Room: small cube farm
Advantage: Crown Room
When I walked in here to the Crown Room at Logan Airport in Terminal A, I had my doubts when I saw “Best Airport Lounge Award 2006, 2007” sign, but now I’m a believer.
I love Boston
I'm not sure why I love Boston so much, but I do. It helps that the times that I've been here, the weather has been spectacular, and I've never been here in the winter. It feels a little like Chicago in terms of neighborhoodiness, but the people here have a little more edge. I like it enough that I would even consider moving here if the right job presented itself.
I had coffee with a former colleague yesterday, and I don't know why, but I'm still surprised to find out from people who leave the firm just how much Kool-Aid they were only pretending to drink. It seems that there are many more gimlet- and clear-eyed people enmeshed throughout the company, who have all been beaten down for speaking truth to power. So we all stay quiet, which is a shame, because how awesome would it be for there to be a massive revolution? Alas, instead when you point out that the emperor has no clothes, you're told that you're not being a team player, or that you're being sharp-elbowed, or the worst, that you're not demonstrating leadership qualities. I love that last one, because I think (I hope, anyway) that at other publicly-traded companies, being open and honest and pointing out the pitfalls of a particular course of action is valued and rewarded. I guess it depends completely on who your manager is, and that's true everywhere. Until I figure out what I want to do next, I' m going to continue to pretend to drink the Kool-Aid, try not to point out when colleagues are incompetent and fail to add value, and keep my head down as much as possible.
I had coffee with a former colleague yesterday, and I don't know why, but I'm still surprised to find out from people who leave the firm just how much Kool-Aid they were only pretending to drink. It seems that there are many more gimlet- and clear-eyed people enmeshed throughout the company, who have all been beaten down for speaking truth to power. So we all stay quiet, which is a shame, because how awesome would it be for there to be a massive revolution? Alas, instead when you point out that the emperor has no clothes, you're told that you're not being a team player, or that you're being sharp-elbowed, or the worst, that you're not demonstrating leadership qualities. I love that last one, because I think (I hope, anyway) that at other publicly-traded companies, being open and honest and pointing out the pitfalls of a particular course of action is valued and rewarded. I guess it depends completely on who your manager is, and that's true everywhere. Until I figure out what I want to do next, I' m going to continue to pretend to drink the Kool-Aid, try not to point out when colleagues are incompetent and fail to add value, and keep my head down as much as possible.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Yucky Neighbors in Hartford
They turned on the television at 11:45pm. That was a HUGE signal to me that things were going to get really personal, and based on what I started to hear (and I'm trying desperately to block out the memory), I got my earplugs in just in the nick of time. I wish I'd had the cojones to set the alarm for 3:30am, but I didn't see any reason to punish myself. :) Earplugs RULE.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Mishmash
I have some pretty healthy self-esteem that I believe I've earned. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm attractive, and doggone it, people like me. Match makes me feel ugly and awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn't fight my way through adolescence and my early 20s to feel like this again. And I'm tired of people saying that I have to give it a chance, and that I'm not being fair, and that this is the way that people meet in 2008. I hate it.
I read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch on my flight from Cleveland to Hartford today (there are NO DIRECT FLIGHTS between Houston and Hartford -- unbelievable). If you haven't heard of it, it's a book based on what was literally the last lecture of Professor Randy Pausch at Carnegie Mellon University (if you click the link, it'll take you to the lecture's page on the Carnegie Mellon site, where you can find more links to the lecture on YouTube). Professor Pausch is dying of metastatic pancreatic cancer, and his last lecture on life lessons is amazing. The book doesn't have quite the same punch as his actual lecture did, but that didn't stop me from leaking tears for the entire flight. It makes me feel like I should be doing something more valuable with my life instead of earning a good living at a company that professes to help other companies get better. The Fortune 1000 doesn't need me.
I know that there are a lot of organizations with which I could volunteer, and maybe that would make me feel better. I'll look into it when I get home. Between The Last Lecture and The World Is Flat, it seems like there must be a way for me to make money and sell out to the man AND make the world a better place at the same time.
The people in the room next to mine here in Hartford are LOUD. Not like that! At least, not yet. I could hear every word of their conversation like they were having about their nephew and random other stuff. They've gone to dinner, so it's blessedly quiet, but I'm dreading when they come back drunk and amorous. EW EW EW EW.
I read an article in Forbes or Business Week on the flight from Houston to Cleveland on the glass ceiling in Korea, and how men there don't think women have the chops to work in the corporate world. I'm very glad to have been born and reared in the US, where my parents told me I was the smartest kid in the class and so had to work much, much harder. There was no question I could be whatever I wanted, as long as whatever I wanted was white collar.
Ok, enough with this random post. This is what happens when I write without really thinking it through. It's been a while, though, and I had some stuff bouncing around in my head that I needed to get out.
I'll keep you updated on the people next door. Ugh.
I read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch on my flight from Cleveland to Hartford today (there are NO DIRECT FLIGHTS between Houston and Hartford -- unbelievable). If you haven't heard of it, it's a book based on what was literally the last lecture of Professor Randy Pausch at Carnegie Mellon University (if you click the link, it'll take you to the lecture's page on the Carnegie Mellon site, where you can find more links to the lecture on YouTube). Professor Pausch is dying of metastatic pancreatic cancer, and his last lecture on life lessons is amazing. The book doesn't have quite the same punch as his actual lecture did, but that didn't stop me from leaking tears for the entire flight. It makes me feel like I should be doing something more valuable with my life instead of earning a good living at a company that professes to help other companies get better. The Fortune 1000 doesn't need me.
I know that there are a lot of organizations with which I could volunteer, and maybe that would make me feel better. I'll look into it when I get home. Between The Last Lecture and The World Is Flat, it seems like there must be a way for me to make money and sell out to the man AND make the world a better place at the same time.
The people in the room next to mine here in Hartford are LOUD. Not like that! At least, not yet. I could hear every word of their conversation like they were having about their nephew and random other stuff. They've gone to dinner, so it's blessedly quiet, but I'm dreading when they come back drunk and amorous. EW EW EW EW.
I read an article in Forbes or Business Week on the flight from Houston to Cleveland on the glass ceiling in Korea, and how men there don't think women have the chops to work in the corporate world. I'm very glad to have been born and reared in the US, where my parents told me I was the smartest kid in the class and so had to work much, much harder. There was no question I could be whatever I wanted, as long as whatever I wanted was white collar.
Ok, enough with this random post. This is what happens when I write without really thinking it through. It's been a while, though, and I had some stuff bouncing around in my head that I needed to get out.
I'll keep you updated on the people next door. Ugh.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
How Last Night's Astros Game Made Me Want to Stay Single
MORE FREE TICKETS TO THE ASTROS!!! I love that my friends have awesome connections, and that they're willing to share the spoils of those connections with ME!
The Astros won last night, more due to the excellent fielding, I think, than a strong outing by Backe. I'm hoping he's just settling in, because he had so much going for him before he went out for Tommy John surgery. Also, the Marlins aren't that good, I don't think.
Anyway, Carrie and I were sitting next to two, young, married couples. The wives were very pretty and teachers. Who knows what the hell the husbands did. The guys sat together, and while one was just a normal guy, the other one was a COMPLETE ASS. He didn't shut up the whole game and constantly bumped Carrie throughout. He was verbally abusive to his wife and cheered for the Astros in really wrong, negative way. He nearly kicked the head of the 2-year-old in front of him. And after 3 and a half hours of sitting next to this douchebag, I nearly took my profile off of Match.
What is wrong with women that they put up with that kind of crap? He was SO disrespectful to his wife, in front of their friends and everyone else sitting near them at the game. And she just sat there and took it. She wasn't happy about it, but she didn't do anything. WTF???
I've had my differences with my parents, but I'm so grateful to them for rearing me to have a spine. I'm not settling for a jackass like that, and I've decided that despite my misgivings about having children, I kind of need to have them to make up for his horrific offspring. I know that sounds arrogant and gross, but seriously -- he and his wife have kids, and they're going to turn out just like them. We don't need more of that in the world.
Friday, April 11, 2008
I'm a Total Freak
No, I know -- this comes as a surprise to exactly ZERO of you. But I've discovered some additional things about myself as a result of being on Match.
From: Him
Date received: April 7
Subject: Hi
Whats up Hot mama? [Editor's Note: my screen name is literatechick. I don't know where this Hot mama crap is coming from.] I'm smarc and people say I look funny. [Editor’s Note: in my profile, I wrote that I’m looking for someone smart, funny, who can take care of himself, has whimsy in his heart, and is totally into me.] How long have you been a member and have you had any luck yet. This is my first time as a member so I'm a virgin so to speak. [Editor’s Note: I don’t like his turn of phrase here. We haven’t even met.]
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From: Me
Date sent: April 8
Subject: Re: Hi
Spelling and grammar are really important to me. I've been on Match for about a month. [Editor’s Note: not friendly, but also not unfriendly, considering it’s me.]
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From: Him
Date received: April 8
Subject: hello
I can't believe ya left me hanging like that. I'm upset with you. No, just kidding, write me back. [Editor’s Note: huh? Hanging like what? I answered his question.]
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From: Me
Date sent: April 8
Subject: Re: hello
I did write you back. I told you that spelling and grammar are important to me and that I've been on Match for about a month. [Editor's Note: I'd like credit for staying polite and neutral in tone.]
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From: Him
Date received: April 9
Subject: hi
you wrote me back when. Call me next time. I gave you my number didn't I. [Editor’s Note: (a) WTF? (b) no, you didn’t give me your number, and (c) give me a reason to call you. So far I don’t see one. Did you bother to read my profile at all??? It’s RICH with conversation bait.]
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From: Him
Date received: April 9
Subject: hello
Never heard from ya. Are you out of the market or what. looking forward to hearing from you. [Editor’s Note: I’m starting to think he’s got me mixed up with someone else or has taken that silly class on how to make women feel insecure so they will go out with you.]
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From: Me
Date sent: April 10
Subject: Re: hello
Please stop contacting me. [Editor’s Note: it’s all fun and games, but I’ve had enough. I didn’t see anything in his profile that I liked, and he’s clearly delusional. I thought my message was simple and to the point.]
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From: Him
Date sent: April 10
Subject: Re: Re: hello
I will respect your wishes, but is there some reason why? Could you please tell me. I mean did I say or do anything. I just want to know so I don't make the same mistake. [Editor’s Note: despite a lack of commas, this was actually a comprehensible e-mail that seemed to indicate he was actually reading MY e-mails. Too bad he sent the next two before I could respond.]
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From: Him
Date sent: April 10
Subject: ?
you're weird dude. no wonder you haven't had any luck. i starting to think you're some kind of scam artist. Well don't try that with me because like the song goes, I ain't never scared. [Editor’s Note: swinging here between reasonable human being and total poser. It doesn’t bode well. I wasn’t planning to respond anyway, but I almost responded to the next one.]
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From: Him
Date sent: April 10
Subject: Re: Re: hello
Fine, you're a freak anyways. [Editor’s Note: he’s right, I am a total freak, but not for the reasons he thinks. I opened this e-mail first, because it was the most recent one in my box, and nearly fell over laughing in the Presidents Club at O’Hare last night. He’s got some serious mood swing issues, but he’s really entertaining nevertheless. I’ll almost miss him.]
The last time I did online dating (about 4 years ago), I figured out that if a man could write e-mail using good grammar and punctuation, he could be completely insane in every other way, but he was in, and the good guy with bad grammar and punctuation was out. Maybe unfair, but that's the way it is, yo. And actually, it's not that unfair: at least people have control over that -- you don't have control over whether you're handsome or smart.
This time, I've figured out that if you tell me I'm pretty or cute or whatever or if you express what I consider to be inappropriate admiration of my skills or talents, I will be suspicious of you and move you down the list. If, on the other hand, you send me intelligent book recommendations? I'll probably show up at your house with a can of Reddi-wip and wearing nothing but a trench coat.
That's an exaggeration, obviously, but seriously -- I am a total freak. Online dating is starting to crack me up.
OH! There's also a guy who has been sending me unintelligible e-mails! I'll reproduce the e-mail chain below because it's THAT GOOD!!! I've diligently included all the typos. He writes a lot about how lucrative trading is and how rich he is. I've added my comments in bold.
From: Him
Date received: April 7
Subject: Hi
Whats up Hot mama? [Editor's Note: my screen name is literatechick. I don't know where this Hot mama crap is coming from.] I'm smarc and people say I look funny. [Editor’s Note: in my profile, I wrote that I’m looking for someone smart, funny, who can take care of himself, has whimsy in his heart, and is totally into me.] How long have you been a member and have you had any luck yet. This is my first time as a member so I'm a virgin so to speak. [Editor’s Note: I don’t like his turn of phrase here. We haven’t even met.]
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From: Me
Date sent: April 8
Subject: Re: Hi
Spelling and grammar are really important to me. I've been on Match for about a month. [Editor’s Note: not friendly, but also not unfriendly, considering it’s me.]
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From: Him
Date received: April 8
Subject: hello
I can't believe ya left me hanging like that. I'm upset with you. No, just kidding, write me back. [Editor’s Note: huh? Hanging like what? I answered his question.]
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From: Me
Date sent: April 8
Subject: Re: hello
I did write you back. I told you that spelling and grammar are important to me and that I've been on Match for about a month. [Editor's Note: I'd like credit for staying polite and neutral in tone.]
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From: Him
Date received: April 9
Subject: hi
you wrote me back when. Call me next time. I gave you my number didn't I. [Editor’s Note: (a) WTF? (b) no, you didn’t give me your number, and (c) give me a reason to call you. So far I don’t see one. Did you bother to read my profile at all??? It’s RICH with conversation bait.]
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From: Him
Date received: April 9
Subject: hello
Never heard from ya. Are you out of the market or what. looking forward to hearing from you. [Editor’s Note: I’m starting to think he’s got me mixed up with someone else or has taken that silly class on how to make women feel insecure so they will go out with you.]
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From: Me
Date sent: April 10
Subject: Re: hello
Please stop contacting me. [Editor’s Note: it’s all fun and games, but I’ve had enough. I didn’t see anything in his profile that I liked, and he’s clearly delusional. I thought my message was simple and to the point.]
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From: Him
Date sent: April 10
Subject: Re: Re: hello
I will respect your wishes, but is there some reason why? Could you please tell me. I mean did I say or do anything. I just want to know so I don't make the same mistake. [Editor’s Note: despite a lack of commas, this was actually a comprehensible e-mail that seemed to indicate he was actually reading MY e-mails. Too bad he sent the next two before I could respond.]
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From: Him
Date sent: April 10
Subject: ?
you're weird dude. no wonder you haven't had any luck. i starting to think you're some kind of scam artist. Well don't try that with me because like the song goes, I ain't never scared. [Editor’s Note: swinging here between reasonable human being and total poser. It doesn’t bode well. I wasn’t planning to respond anyway, but I almost responded to the next one.]
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From: Him
Date sent: April 10
Subject: Re: Re: hello
Fine, you're a freak anyways. [Editor’s Note: he’s right, I am a total freak, but not for the reasons he thinks. I opened this e-mail first, because it was the most recent one in my box, and nearly fell over laughing in the Presidents Club at O’Hare last night. He’s got some serious mood swing issues, but he’s really entertaining nevertheless. I’ll almost miss him.]
I'm going to keep and treasure those e-mails FOREVER. If he only knew how true his last e-mail was!!!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Astros!
I wasn't going to go, y'all. I didn't buy tickets, I didn't look into buying tickets, and I didn't even really know when the home opener was. But as I was sitting on my couch finishing up work, I could hear more foot traffic by my window, and when I glanced out, I saw all the brick red and white t-shirts, and the 7s and the 17s and the 9s, and I was a little sad and jealous.
And then Kathy called with TWO TICKETS that miraculously fell into our laps!!! It was like God wanted me to go to the game! I jumped into the shower (I work from home -- it's not always a priority when it's just me), Kathy drove to get the tickets, and then we walked to the game.
First pitch was at 6:05, which we missed, but since I wasn't going to get to go at all, getting there in the top of the third at 7pm was TOTALLY FINE. We were in the second to last row in the top tier right behind home plate, and I'm more and more convinced that there are very few bad seats at the Juice Box. As long as you're behind home plate, you can see everything you need to see. I ate a footlong hot dog with chili and cheese (yes, I feel a little sick writing about it, thank you for asking) and spilled some diet Dr. Pepper on the lady sitting in front of me. She was very nice about it.
The game was scoreless until the 7th, when Lance Berkman hit a solo home run. Yay!! Then Carlos Lee hit another solo home run right behind him! Super fantastico! (Does anyone know where I got that? I say it to myself a lot, and I have no idea where it came from, and it kind of annoys me both that I say it and that I don't know the source.)
Then Wandy Rodriguez got pulled out the game, and the middle reliever was replaced with a pinch hitter. Miguel Tejada (I think) hit a home run in the 8th, and then the Astros put in the last pitcher of the night, Valverde, at the top of the 9th. I don't refer to him as the last pitcher just because it was the ninth inning and nobody came in to replace him, but last because THERE WAS NOBODY ELSE WARMING UP IN THE BULLPEN FOR THE ASTROS. Y'all, when I say that the Astros have 1 pitcher and 4 hitters, it's not a joke. It's the sad truth. With Wandy's performance from last night and my high hopes for Brandon Backe, I might be persuaded to amend that to 2 or 3 pitchers and 4 hitters, but seriously -- that's it.
Valverde gave up THREE runs in the top of the 9th. If you can do basic arithmetic, that means that he gave up enough runs to the CARDINALS, our SWORN ENEMIES, to TIE THE GAME. And the Astros have not historically been good about turning things around in later innings, at least not when I'm there watching completely stressed out. I thought I was going to throw up from the stress and tension.
And then in the bottom of the 9th, someone got on base (I can't remember who, and I can't find a play-by-play), and Miguel Tejada, God bless him and his steroids, hit a walk-off home run, and all was right in Catherineland. I got to watch a baseball game live, I got to eat a hot dog, my team won, and Kathy and I went for ice cream at Amy's afterward. GOOD TIMES.
I think I'm a simpler woman than some of you give me credit for.
And then Kathy called with TWO TICKETS that miraculously fell into our laps!!! It was like God wanted me to go to the game! I jumped into the shower (I work from home -- it's not always a priority when it's just me), Kathy drove to get the tickets, and then we walked to the game.
First pitch was at 6:05, which we missed, but since I wasn't going to get to go at all, getting there in the top of the third at 7pm was TOTALLY FINE. We were in the second to last row in the top tier right behind home plate, and I'm more and more convinced that there are very few bad seats at the Juice Box. As long as you're behind home plate, you can see everything you need to see. I ate a footlong hot dog with chili and cheese (yes, I feel a little sick writing about it, thank you for asking) and spilled some diet Dr. Pepper on the lady sitting in front of me. She was very nice about it.
The game was scoreless until the 7th, when Lance Berkman hit a solo home run. Yay!! Then Carlos Lee hit another solo home run right behind him! Super fantastico! (Does anyone know where I got that? I say it to myself a lot, and I have no idea where it came from, and it kind of annoys me both that I say it and that I don't know the source.)
Then Wandy Rodriguez got pulled out the game, and the middle reliever was replaced with a pinch hitter. Miguel Tejada (I think) hit a home run in the 8th, and then the Astros put in the last pitcher of the night, Valverde, at the top of the 9th. I don't refer to him as the last pitcher just because it was the ninth inning and nobody came in to replace him, but last because THERE WAS NOBODY ELSE WARMING UP IN THE BULLPEN FOR THE ASTROS. Y'all, when I say that the Astros have 1 pitcher and 4 hitters, it's not a joke. It's the sad truth. With Wandy's performance from last night and my high hopes for Brandon Backe, I might be persuaded to amend that to 2 or 3 pitchers and 4 hitters, but seriously -- that's it.
Valverde gave up THREE runs in the top of the 9th. If you can do basic arithmetic, that means that he gave up enough runs to the CARDINALS, our SWORN ENEMIES, to TIE THE GAME. And the Astros have not historically been good about turning things around in later innings, at least not when I'm there watching completely stressed out. I thought I was going to throw up from the stress and tension.
And then in the bottom of the 9th, someone got on base (I can't remember who, and I can't find a play-by-play), and Miguel Tejada, God bless him and his steroids, hit a walk-off home run, and all was right in Catherineland. I got to watch a baseball game live, I got to eat a hot dog, my team won, and Kathy and I went for ice cream at Amy's afterward. GOOD TIMES.
I think I'm a simpler woman than some of you give me credit for.
Where Am I?
April 8-10: Chicago
April 17-18: San Antonio
April 22-23: Hartford, CT
April 24-25: Boston
April 29-May 1: Washington, DC
May 2-4: Las Vegas, Baby!
May 7-9: San Francisco
May 21-23: Washington, DC
May 26-29: Washington, DC
June 1-2: Washington, DC
June 12-13: Chicago
June 25-27: Washington, DC
July 9-11: Washington, DC
July 21-25: Washington, DC
April 17-18: San Antonio
April 22-23: Hartford, CT
April 24-25: Boston
April 29-May 1: Washington, DC
May 2-4: Las Vegas, Baby!
May 7-9: San Francisco
May 21-23: Washington, DC
May 26-29: Washington, DC
June 1-2: Washington, DC
June 12-13: Chicago
June 25-27: Washington, DC
July 9-11: Washington, DC
July 21-25: Washington, DC
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