Yet Another Short Play About Being 7

[CC has joined a gym so she can relearn how to swim. Mom has arranged for her to pay annual dues in one lump sum, but the membership won't be processed for a few days, so the rep on the phone recommended going to the website and printing a 7-day free pass that the gym offers to suck new people in.]

Mom: Here's a lock, and here's the combination.

CC: Thanks, Mom.

Mom: Also, here's a towel. Your swimsuit will be wet after you're finished, so wrap it up in the towel.

CC: Ok, Mom.

Mom: Also, here's a plastic bag -- you can put your towel and suit in it.

CC: Ok.

Mom: Here are some travel-sized toiletries for your shower.

CC: Ok.

Mom: Don't forget to tell the person at the front desk that you already have a membership, or they'll make you take a tour of the gym, and you'll be late for your lesson.

CC: Ok.

Mom: Write down this information: this is the name of the person I talked to, and this is her rep number.

CC: Ok.

Mom: Here's the phone number they can call if they have any questions.

CC: Ok.

Mom: The instructor's name is Kathy, and she's really nice.

CC: Ok.

Mom: Don't forget to tell them that you already have a membership, it just hasn't completed being processed.

CC: Yes, I know -- I'm on it. I have all the information written down. Bye!

[CC arrives at gym.]

CC: Hi! I have a 7-day pass, but --

Dude at front desk: Yeah, your mom called a few minutes ago. Go on back.

A Short Play About Why It Seems Like I'm Hard on Myself

CC: The swimming teacher said you're doing really well.

Mom: That's typically American -- you do one tiny thing right, and they heap on the praise. That's not the Asian way. We tell the truth.

A Short Play About Korean Sayings

[CC and Mom are in CC's office, trying to coordinate travel to LA for a family thing. CC has booked her aunt's and Mom's tickets with Mom looking over her shoulder the whole time and is in the process of booking her own travel. Mom's dialogue is translated from Korean.]

CC: OH, CRAP.

Mom: What's the matter?

CC: I think I might have booked Auntie's ticket as Hyun Bin Choe instead of Hyun Bin Song.

Mom: Can you go back and check?

CC: I don't have the confirmation number -- all of that stuff was e-mailed to you. Can you go check your e-mail?

Mom, after a couple of minutes: No e-mails yet. We can check tomorrow.

CC: CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP.

Mom: It's ok. Even monkeys fall out of trees every now and then.

A Short Play About the Buckshot

[CC and Kevin walk into the Buckshot.]

CC, breathing in: It smells like every dive bar I went to in college -- fried food and old beer.

Kevin: It smells like beer and ass. Awesome!