Truer words

On girls' night out, I often propose this toast:

Here's to the men that we love,
Here's to the men that love us,
But the men that we love aren't the men that love us,
So f@&% the men, here's to us.

It's a little bitter, but holy moly, this past week proved it to be fairly true. I have no game when it comes to men. None. Does anyone know where I could get some?

I think I'm going to have to amend the 5 things I'm looking for in a man. It used to be that I was looking for someone smart, funny, who could take care of himself, and was totally into me. I think it's more accurate to say that all I'm looking for in someone is that he's SNARKY. Liz called snarky my drug of choice, and when she said it, it was one of those weird, random moments of truth when you can feel something important slip into place. I could almost hear angels sing. And yes, I know it's kind of sad that snarky was the thing that caused my profound moment. I wish I could have one about work, but you don't get to pick those moments, man.

So all 3 of you who are reading this -- please keep your eyes peeled for snarky men and send them my way. Apparently they don't even have to be that nice or, tragically, that into me. I seriously have some issues, y'all.

Australia by the numbers

Bottles of wine purchased and packed in suitcase: 4
Bottles of wine making it safely to Houston after connections in LA, Houston, and DC: 4
Wineries visited: 4
Wines tasted: roughly 30
Suits purchased at Country Road: 2
Pieces of new luggage purchased: 2
Cups of cappuccino consumed: roughly 30
Hours spent playing the Baileys' Wii: 2
Hours spent at Korean karaoke bar in Melbourne: 1
Hours spent on a plane for the Oz trip: 48
Times people commented on my lack of a Texas drawl: 5

It was wonderful to be there, because I love Australia, but it's nice to be home, too. Of course, now I'm not home -- I'm in the Air France lounge at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, waiting for my flight to Florence. I think I took a wrong turn somewhere, because I was promised a shower, and there aren't any here. I feel yucky.

In any event, I'll be posting photos from cooking school in Arezzo on Facebook and here. Regrettably, I have no photos from Australia. I'm really bad at remembering to take photos, but I'm going to try really hard in Tuscany.

Dude, French keyboards are tripping me out. There are a few keys that are in different places, and it's seriously slowing me down!!

Sensory Overload

Liz and I went to see The Dark Knight yesterday at the IMAX theater. The movie was fantastic, but I have to say that seeing it on the IMAX screen was overwhelming. The second the movie started with an aerial shot of a skyscraper, I was pretty sure we were in for it.

Don't get me wrong -- I loved the movie. I had my eyes closed during parts of it, which I know was unnecessary because most of the gory violence happens off-screen. I thought Christian Bale was great as Batman/Bruce Wayne, as usual (I've loved him since Empire of the Sun). I love the way that Michael Caine's character, Alfred Pennyworth, and Morgan Freeman's character, Lucius Fox, balance out Bruce Wayne and keep him grounded and sane. And I thought Heather Ledger was amazing, although perhaps not necessarily Oscar-worthy.

But this was a seriously intense movie, both in terms of implied violence, action scenes, and explosions and in terms of the morality themes in the plot. Seeing on that gigantic screen, while sometimes gratifying (hello, Christian Bale's handsome mug), left the audience with no place to hide.

Would I do it again? Absolutely. But I'm glad we went to an afternoon matinee. Seeing the movie on the IMAX screen had the same effect on me as several cups of coffee. My hands were trembling, my heart was pounding, and I was jumpy. If I see the movie again, I think I'm going to opt for a regular screen with a bottle of beer.