So I was thinking back over my past boyfriends/relationships, and I realized that I have dated some very nice men. And then I started thinking about that thing where women say they like nice men, but then date jerks, over and over, and then nice men complain that they're not getting to date women, even the ones who say they want a nice man, because secretly, women all want jerks.
Here's what I've decided: women really do want nice men. If we date jerks, it's because we think they're going to be nice. Maybe we recognize that the guy is a jerk, but we've deluded ourselves into thinking we're going to love him into being nice. Maybe we've been deceived into thinking that a jerk is a nice guy. Either way, very few of the truly smart women I know (and I know a LOT of smart women) have dated a jerk on purpose.
I started thinking about what the disconnect is, and I think it all comes back to what we mean by nice. I think when women say we want a nice guy, we're talking about someone who makes us feel pretty and smart and just generally good. But we also don't like being crowded. Women tend to get the bad rap that we're way more into relationships than men and get all clingy and needy, and maybe that's true, but my theory (see how I tied it into the title of the post?) is that when we reject men for being "too nice," the real reason we're rejecting them is the sneaking suspicion that you're going to be all up in our grills ALL THE TIME. And smart women (or at least the smart women I know, and remember, I know a LOT of smart women) don't want anyone, including the men in our lives, to be all up in our grills all the time.
Chew on that. And please let me know if you think you know someone who will make me feel pretty and smart and just generally good without breathing all of my air.
3 comments:
First, let me say "Damn, it's great to hear from you!." Secondly, love the blog!! I must have slept when you started this because I missed the first go-round and am tuning into your second try at it. Hopefully you'll remain motivated to write when you see what I have to ask you... It's good to know where you are. Seems I was in Austin the week before you and will be in Dallas a week before you again, unless you have time to meet then I'll try to reschedule Dallas. But on to really important matters that will keep you blogging, I'm glad you mentioned the last part about someone who will not breathe." Kelley and I were just thinking about our friend who lives in Navasota. His name's Matt. He's a great guy but that's all I'll tell you for now. Before I go on, tell me what you're looking for in a guy other than someone who won't breathe all your air. (I'll make sure he brings his own oxygen tank.) And be honest.
Kelley said for you to git on down here Mar 1 for the rodeo cook-off. There are all kinds of meat to sample.
Anyone who tells you that they are in a PERFECT relationship is LYING...BUT perfection isn't all it's cracked up to be. Heck, without the occasional arguments you wouldn't get to have any GREAT makeup SEX! LOL
Post a Comment